I think I love you for this post. Both parts. The first, yeah, I've never understood that either. Heck, it could be interpretated as worse for the feminist cause, because in a large amount of slashfic the Female Love Interest is turned into a horrible raging bitch nothing like her canon personality in order to 'free up' the men. That and the whole so-called 'seme-uke dynamic' has some disturbing implications as to what people think a heterosexual relationship is like, or should be.

As to the second part, all I can say is word.