crankyoldman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crankyoldman) wrote2010-10-11 05:17 pm
crankyoldman) wrote2010-10-11 05:17 pm
Entry tags:
Today I Am Out
Today is apparently National Coming Out Day or something, in addition to being Columbus Day. I like the former better than the latter, so I'm celebrating that!
If it wasn't obvious, I am Gay with a capital G. Cockphobic. Lesbian. I'm not picky about the terms. It's ok if you are! But I'm not. As long as it doesn't suggest I'm doing the menfolk, I'm fine.
I didn't come out until college. Hell, I didn't realize that I was anything less than hetero until then. I had always dated the kinds of guys in high school that were kind of afraid to touch me; they tended to be extremely awkward nerds that were on the quiet side. In fact, until I met my ex-husband I'd never dated a man that had any indication of being sexually attracted to me at all. And I was strangely fine with this.
I've had some rather strong romantic feelings for men. That was never the issue. It's perfectly easy to fall in love with someone you're completely physically and sexually incompatible with. I have a couple of guy friends I bearded for regularly, and if they needed to be married for some legal reason or another, I'd likely be ok with it. I just wouldn't ever want to get married again for romantic reasons. If that makes any sense.
The unfortunate fact in my dealings with men, though, is that most of them reach a point (especially if your relationship has gone on for years, and ESPECIALLY if you're married to them) that they want to get busy. And that's where I have problems.
So that's the story behind why I identify as lesbian instead of anything more ambiguous; women are just more physically appealing to me, and men are less likely to want sexless relationships. I think that labels can be silly sometimes, but others are rather helpful. I like the lesbian label, and the culture that comes with it, and well, basically everything. I believe that there's a continuum and I'm leaning far more towards lady-loving, but it would be silly to say that I haven't been interested in men. I just wished they were gender-swapped or metaphorical Ken dolls. XD
I'm pretty open about this, and I have the particular fortune of being out at my workplace. We're rather easygoing and liberal about most things, and it's really nice to not have to play the pronoun game. In fact, it was something that was even easy in school for me, once I was all divorced and over that craziness. Then again, I was in a male-dominated field, and liking women may have made me fit in better?
Not that I didn't get static sometimes, but I guess no more static than I normally would, as I make certain nerds uncomfortable no matter what I do. But that's their issue.
Parts of my family are the only ones that I'm not so open with, but my immediate family knows and doesn't really seem to care. I think my dad is somewhat relieved, as I think he had an unnatural fear I'd become pregnant and thus My Life As an Engineer Would Be Over (and if you think I'm kidding, I'm not). But then, there are certain parts of my extended family that me being career oriented and tech-savvy is equal to having two heads. So fuck 'em.
I'm going to have more problems come up as a result of my openness, and I have had some in the past. But the only time I'd ever felt more complete was as a pre-pubescent kid, before everyone starts getting weird about everything.
Here's to those that can be out, and those that are still threatened by the world to stay closeted, may they find a place to hang or a people to hang with. To my trans friends that still need more support before the world will accept them and my hetero friends that are being awesome non-jackasses. And everyone in between. Everyone's a weirdo in their own way. Love you all!
If it wasn't obvious, I am Gay with a capital G. Cockphobic. Lesbian. I'm not picky about the terms. It's ok if you are! But I'm not. As long as it doesn't suggest I'm doing the menfolk, I'm fine.
I didn't come out until college. Hell, I didn't realize that I was anything less than hetero until then. I had always dated the kinds of guys in high school that were kind of afraid to touch me; they tended to be extremely awkward nerds that were on the quiet side. In fact, until I met my ex-husband I'd never dated a man that had any indication of being sexually attracted to me at all. And I was strangely fine with this.
I've had some rather strong romantic feelings for men. That was never the issue. It's perfectly easy to fall in love with someone you're completely physically and sexually incompatible with. I have a couple of guy friends I bearded for regularly, and if they needed to be married for some legal reason or another, I'd likely be ok with it. I just wouldn't ever want to get married again for romantic reasons. If that makes any sense.
The unfortunate fact in my dealings with men, though, is that most of them reach a point (especially if your relationship has gone on for years, and ESPECIALLY if you're married to them) that they want to get busy. And that's where I have problems.
So that's the story behind why I identify as lesbian instead of anything more ambiguous; women are just more physically appealing to me, and men are less likely to want sexless relationships. I think that labels can be silly sometimes, but others are rather helpful. I like the lesbian label, and the culture that comes with it, and well, basically everything. I believe that there's a continuum and I'm leaning far more towards lady-loving, but it would be silly to say that I haven't been interested in men. I just wished they were gender-swapped or metaphorical Ken dolls. XD
I'm pretty open about this, and I have the particular fortune of being out at my workplace. We're rather easygoing and liberal about most things, and it's really nice to not have to play the pronoun game. In fact, it was something that was even easy in school for me, once I was all divorced and over that craziness. Then again, I was in a male-dominated field, and liking women may have made me fit in better?
Not that I didn't get static sometimes, but I guess no more static than I normally would, as I make certain nerds uncomfortable no matter what I do. But that's their issue.
Parts of my family are the only ones that I'm not so open with, but my immediate family knows and doesn't really seem to care. I think my dad is somewhat relieved, as I think he had an unnatural fear I'd become pregnant and thus My Life As an Engineer Would Be Over (and if you think I'm kidding, I'm not). But then, there are certain parts of my extended family that me being career oriented and tech-savvy is equal to having two heads. So fuck 'em.
I'm going to have more problems come up as a result of my openness, and I have had some in the past. But the only time I'd ever felt more complete was as a pre-pubescent kid, before everyone starts getting weird about everything.
Here's to those that can be out, and those that are still threatened by the world to stay closeted, may they find a place to hang or a people to hang with. To my trans friends that still need more support before the world will accept them and my hetero friends that are being awesome non-jackasses. And everyone in between. Everyone's a weirdo in their own way. Love you all!
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