True Story

[crankyoldman]

So, I was at a conference on Tuesday.

Workshops are conferences are the most boring things ever. And while one of them was interesting (it was about mentoring, which was something relevant to my interests as I am in charge of high schoolers that kind of look up to me and that mildly terrifies me), the conference mostly depressed the hell out of me. I really feel for the poor teachers in this state.

When I was told we were on our own for lunch, I took off to the first restaurant that wasn't likely to be filled with educators from the conference, because it was a little upscale. Since I was alone, I sat at the bar, for immediate food having.

Talking with strangers is never an issue for me. In fact, it's half the reason that I like to go to places and travel alone; you never know who you're going to meet. I have sort of a radar for who to strike up a conversation with and who not to. Some people are better left alone, you have to respect that.

In the case of this place, it was an older lady. Older than my mom, but not terribly old. Now, I really love talking to older people especially. They always have the best stories.

Anyway, I initiated the conversation partly because if I started talking with her, the slightly creeper businessman on the other side of me wouldn't have an excuse to strike up a convo with me. And deflecting creeper encounters is also something I've gotten good at. I can't wait to be over 30 and start becoming invisible to men, I tell you what.

We talked about a lot of things, because I had a 1.5 hour lunchbreak, which is a longass time to tell stories. And because I'm tricksy, I managed a sale for my game. XD But there were a couple of highlights to this convo.

The first was when we got on the subject of creepers.

See, this lady apparently was into the traveling and being places alone thing at my age. And it was even more unusual back then. I joked with her that I'm not afraid to sit at the bar because I've gotten pretty good at deflecting unwanted attentions (for the most part, cons and parties are hard to manage this). Apparently she was too.

Lady: Oh, so what did you do to a guy to get that to happen? I broke a guy's wrist once.
Me: Oh I stabbed a guy with a pen.... please elaborate on your story.
Lady: Well I was at a movie theater and this guy really wanted me to hold his hand... so I did. And broke his wrist.
Me: Wow.
Lady: The unfortunate thing for him was that he couldn't zip his pants back up when the cops arrived.

Suffice to say, we got on well. It more than made up for the depressing aspects of the conference. Considering that I am feeling incredibly restless, striking up conversations with strangers is a good way for me to get out of my own head for a while.

Also, tip for life from this Lady:

"No one ever did anything interesting by being nice and respectable."

Amen, sister.

Now hopefully this whole apartment thing works out, I am so tired of living in this basement.

Comments

[radish]

Lulz, that lady sounds awesome. And really strong, WHAT.

And as a REAL, LIVING, BREATHING 29 year old who will be 30 later this year, I look forward to hosting my my own blinky diner-style fluorescent sign upon which will indicate my decreasing fecundity and subsequent sexual attractiveness. :P

[crankyoldman]

I don't think that 30 is OLD, mind. I've had several friends have panic attacks over it, and I find that silly. I prefer older women, they have their shit together. I just look forward to when I am off of the fratboy, fanboy, and creepy old man radar.

I'm actually more looking forward to 40, but people always look at me funny when I say that. XD

[radish]

I prefer any woman who handles herself with awesomeness, young or old. And when we get to the older spectrum, there's people like Tilda Goddamn Swinton, umph. That can't really be beat.

Tbh, I look forward to having an awesome head of grey hair -- I recently let my natural hair color grow out partially to see if I was getting any yet. And I already think of myself as 30 (and I would be 30 if I were still in Asia), but I also don't think I'm that different than I was at 20, other than a tad wiser, a bit calmer and even more cynical.

However -- curse me if I sound like a victim blamer, but I'm far too jaded when it comes to human nature -- I think it has a lot to do with how one controls and presents oneself. At least, from what I've observed in older women, and in myself, to some extent, they become better at knowing how to handle it and even stopping it before it happens. Of course, there's probably a decrease in male attention as a result of innate biology (and perhaps that same biology makes the handling of it easier), though I haven't really noticed a change in how I'm treated other than a decrease in being carded. And, interestingly, even that changes a lot depending on how I'm dressed, relative to my environs.

And being my age now, as opposed to 20? I'm much better at not flinching or blushing at comments, at avoiding eye contact straight away. Part of me hates that I've learned to do this, because I find myself questioning the intent of males ALL THE TIME. I find it difficult to trust them, whereas before I might have befriended males, and be completely clueless to sexual tension or 'friend zone' complexes. I used to take people at face value, but I hardly ever do anymore. This sucks, because I generally tend to get along with the average dude better than the average females.

tl;dr: beware of growing up to be a paranoid grump like me. :P

[crankyoldman]

Oh, I'm already a little paranoid. XD I've had too many really just bad interactions, especially with guys that can carry conversation in topics I'm interested in (I JUST WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PEER WITH NERDS, DAMMIT.) to not be a little defensive.

It's just sad that womenfolk have to think about this. Clearly I need to just walk around with a nametag that says, "HI. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS."

[novel_machinist]

she reminds me of the woman from Purdue that was in the pharmacy department. I always love talking to older women, it feels like I'm talking to a pioneer sometimes. It's sort of scary that women that made our lives easier are STILL ALIVE TODAY. It reminds me that even though I'm incredibly lucky, there is still a way to go.

[starfleet]

That lady sounds awesome.

Why did you stab someone with a pen once?

[crankyoldman]

Guy tried to get my skirt off when I did not expressedly give him permission to do so. And I only really punctured him in the hand. It was enough for him to get the hint.

[starfleet]

WELL good for you, honestly. Some guys are such douches, I don't even.

[crankyoldman]

Well, I was a freshman and it was a frat party and I had not gotten the memo that dressing cutely to a party and partaking of some of the beerz meant that I was obviously open for business.

I'm pretty sure that he was just a random douche, that frat was pretty good about not being creepers.

I also threw up on a stalker. BEST time to accidentally mix your alcohols.

Freshman year was quite a learning experience.

[whitemage]

I once slammed a guy's head into a bench, then tearfully offered him first aid because, "POOR, BB, WHAT DID HE DO TO HIMSELF???" But being Psycho Theatrics Chick comes naturally to me sometimes. XD

That lady sounds AMAZING! And I admire that quality of going out and about and knowing who to talk to. It is a mysterious to me, who remains inappropriately a taciturn wallflower too often.

Also, does that tip parallel with "well-behaved women rarely make history"? Because I am becoming all over that.