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Graduation Ceremony!
Dec. 20th, 2009 09:13 pmSo, I went to the graduation ceremony, even if grades don't come out until Wednesday. I kind of don't care at this point; if I'm a class or two off then I'll work it out. It marks the end of full time undergrad, at the very least.
It was good, and I have to admit, I almost cried a little. Six and a half years of college. My longest relationship. Even if undergrad has been a tad bit of an abusive boyfriend at times, I have to admit I really did love it. I mean, if I truly hated it then I wouldn't have stuck with it. Considering all the obstacles (unemployment, divorce, inadequacy, and far more emotional turmoil than I've ever blogged about) I have to say that damn, I did it. I really really did it.
I think one of the things that people outside of the engineering world don't understand is that the schooling can sometimes be a bit like boot camp. They break you down to build you up. And honestly? At the beginning I don't disagree. Engineering work on its purest level effects people's lives, and the last thing you need is someone that can't handle the pressure or the responsibility. Sometimes they forget about this with grades and research, but it's all about problem solving. For me, the problem I had to solve was the fact I wasn't a good student. My memory is terrible, lectures really really bore me, and I'd rather be doing than doing busywork. It takes me longer to get certain abstract concepts, and I took nearly every math class at least twice. In the case of Diff Eq I, I took it THREE TIMES.
But there were things I did get better than others, things I loved. Dynamics. Structures. Shaking it 'til it breaks, showing how things move; to most people that sounds terribly boring, I bet. And in the beginning I found it a tad boring too. But I'd gotten a taste of what the real work was like and wanted to get to the good part!
I'd be lying if I said I really wanted to quit some of the time. Oh lord, did I want to quit. I felt like the dumbest person in the world, and some of my classmates and professors would agree with that assessment. But I'm not stupid. I'm just odd, really.
I had a small talk with my advisor, as he's been probably the most consistently nice person to me in the department. And I think that maybe he's a little proud of me. He never asked me to reconsider what I was doing, or that maybe I wasn't smart enough for it. Even when I'd come to see him and I'd be asking how to stay off academic probation or how many times you can take a class before it's completely failed period (answer: there is no limit). And to hear him sound pleased to see me was always nice. I guess having one person in your corner (even if they were quiet in their way) is really helpful.
I guess my point is, that you know, sometimes you can do it. With a little luck, a shit ton of persistence, and support. If you truly fucking want it, the struggle won't be easier (it'll be damned hard) but it'll be worth it. It'll never be easy, but it'll be right. For me it was engineering, but for someone else it could be dancing or piling mud on top of their head.
And yes, I am a rocket scientist.
In good news, I also got a Canon Rebel. Pictures to follow when I've charged the batteries and played with it a bit. Also some of the grad pics. XD And my sister got me Season 1 of Mad Men, eeeee.
It was good, and I have to admit, I almost cried a little. Six and a half years of college. My longest relationship. Even if undergrad has been a tad bit of an abusive boyfriend at times, I have to admit I really did love it. I mean, if I truly hated it then I wouldn't have stuck with it. Considering all the obstacles (unemployment, divorce, inadequacy, and far more emotional turmoil than I've ever blogged about) I have to say that damn, I did it. I really really did it.
I think one of the things that people outside of the engineering world don't understand is that the schooling can sometimes be a bit like boot camp. They break you down to build you up. And honestly? At the beginning I don't disagree. Engineering work on its purest level effects people's lives, and the last thing you need is someone that can't handle the pressure or the responsibility. Sometimes they forget about this with grades and research, but it's all about problem solving. For me, the problem I had to solve was the fact I wasn't a good student. My memory is terrible, lectures really really bore me, and I'd rather be doing than doing busywork. It takes me longer to get certain abstract concepts, and I took nearly every math class at least twice. In the case of Diff Eq I, I took it THREE TIMES.
But there were things I did get better than others, things I loved. Dynamics. Structures. Shaking it 'til it breaks, showing how things move; to most people that sounds terribly boring, I bet. And in the beginning I found it a tad boring too. But I'd gotten a taste of what the real work was like and wanted to get to the good part!
I'd be lying if I said I really wanted to quit some of the time. Oh lord, did I want to quit. I felt like the dumbest person in the world, and some of my classmates and professors would agree with that assessment. But I'm not stupid. I'm just odd, really.
I had a small talk with my advisor, as he's been probably the most consistently nice person to me in the department. And I think that maybe he's a little proud of me. He never asked me to reconsider what I was doing, or that maybe I wasn't smart enough for it. Even when I'd come to see him and I'd be asking how to stay off academic probation or how many times you can take a class before it's completely failed period (answer: there is no limit). And to hear him sound pleased to see me was always nice. I guess having one person in your corner (even if they were quiet in their way) is really helpful.
I guess my point is, that you know, sometimes you can do it. With a little luck, a shit ton of persistence, and support. If you truly fucking want it, the struggle won't be easier (it'll be damned hard) but it'll be worth it. It'll never be easy, but it'll be right. For me it was engineering, but for someone else it could be dancing or piling mud on top of their head.
And yes, I am a rocket scientist.
In good news, I also got a Canon Rebel. Pictures to follow when I've charged the batteries and played with it a bit. Also some of the grad pics. XD And my sister got me Season 1 of Mad Men, eeeee.