Cranky. Old. Man?

I'm sitting in a remote aromatherapy class that work offered (they offer so many random classes) and thinking about some essay-writing and various crafts I have in progress. I've got a "career goals" document sitting on one of my monitors and a study that someone else is handling the logistics of happening later this week.

I don't think I've fully recovered from the burnout I had reached at my last job, but I feel the most on the way to being in a healthy stasis than I have in months.

I got a moon calendar this year along with the standard linear time one, because since I've gone fully remote with work and have decided to stop trying to be extra productive when I just don't feel the energy I've just really vibed more with cyclical thinking. It's a really privileged position to be in, and even then bad days will still happen. But I feel like they're less devastating.

I'm looking forward to Spring. Going for walks with the dog has me wondering if I want to take up running again (haven't done that since I was a teenager, so no idea how that'll go). I've done more hand-sewing and it's gotten to the point that my stitches are coming out smaller and more even. Wife has been keeping our plants alive until we can put them outside. I've made so many soups and the shots of fire cider actually have helped with some of the malaise.

Hope y'all are also able to get some rest and plan for Spring.

So, due to a series of hilarious events, I discovered that I archived a lot of stuff I created, and some fanart from like roughly 2005-2007? As well as some hilarious pictures of me being young(tm) and generally some fun and complex memories.

Like I have a photobucket account still, y'all. And my fandom (aka: not my real name) google account has massive amounts of random fanart I saved because... the cloud didn't really exist? I know why I kept some of it, but a lot of it is puzzling and a wonderful exercise in personal archaeology.

I know I'm not particularly old (I turn 35 in 2020), but since everyone's remastering or remaking or otherwise cashing in on the complexity of growing up on the internet, here's the stuff I found that is best for sharing with old fans like me that thought things may have been lost to the internet.

Also, nearly all the fanart is uncredited, unless I made a note because I knew the artist, I'm so sorry. As such, don't go sharing willy-nilly any art unless you can credit the artist, please.

( links links links )

Ha, so some things are going great, others are exploding.

Put in my two weeks notice a couple days ago at my part time job. It's just too much work, hours, energy for too little pay and I feel like I've done all I can there. I don't have something that immediately fills that pay, but I think I'll be able to get it to that level since my business partner/grad BFF has been getting our reputation pretty solid.

Of course, then her parents got hit by a couple of meth-heads while loading their car with groceries. They're alive, and stable, but that did a lot of damage. :< Going to be a lot of physical therapy and adjustments, I hope that I can help with what I can (and I have been given a few to dos which admittedly makes me feel better as I can DO something).

My dad also caught a mild case of pneumonia. Because he doesn't know how to retire. Dad, retire. Hilariously found out about this with a pleasant email from my mother. The tone was such that it sounded like they'd just taken a stroll, not gone to the emergency room at 6am.

Now I have to sew a scarf. And clean the house. Hopefully this next two weeks goes fast.

Cosplayer friends! I'm heading into the next phase of cosplayer research for my capstone project. If you'd like to help, respond to this (screened) entry with answers to the questions below. Feel free to throw me other cosplayers' emails/send them to this entry (with their permission) too, I want a breadth of people! Some of you may be asked to continue with a longer interview, so let me know if that's a cool thing with you too (or if you'd rather just stick with answering these questions, also valid).

1. In general, what sort of characters do you cosplay? Any specific examples?

2. Are there any characters you wish you could cosplay that you feel you are unable to? Why? Any specific examples?

3. How would you describe your style out of cosplay?

4. Would you be willing to share a (public) internet social network profile? If so, link it.

5. Would you be willing to share a picture of you in cosplay? If so, attach/link it, please.

6.. Would you be willing to share a picture of you out of cosplay? If so, attach/link it, please.

Edited: Added one question. Because it is an obvious question I forgot. XD

novel_machinist and I are those guys.

( is more hilarious after you read hers really )

I don't know if I've talked about this much, because frankly it's taken me a while to process this and compare with experiences of other people. But I was reading yet another thing about how college grads have it hard finding work and yet another thing mentioned "unless your degree is in engineering or computer science, you're really not guaranteed a job".

Engineering degrees can in fact be just as problematic as any other degree, depending on the university you went to (mind I am talking about US institutions only as that is all I have experience with). In fact, once I'd come out of the haze that had been my undergrad years, I realized just how screwed I could have been had I not a) a willingness to take a risk and go to grad school because I have parents who are financially stable b) a willingness to leave a job that was essentially killing me in small measures.

( this got long )

Edit: Apparently xkcd thought it would be a good time to make a comic about networking in the most hilarious timing ever.

So since our projects for my Week Long Intense Projects class are provided by external companies and one of them has too much shit going on to give us one? WE GET A WEEK OFF FOR THE CLASS.

Oh thank god, I needed that.

Gonna work on my portfolio site, sleep, read, browse shit? I dunno man, a lot of us were sitting around after Prototyping today, unsure of what to do since we didn't have like three group meetings scheduled.

First order of business: SLEEP.

I'm going to be starting my last year (provided I don't lose my mind and suddenly decide to get another masters or heaven forbid a DOCTORATE) in two weeks. I am vibrating with excitement, because I missed my cohort and know I have so much left to learn! But I am most excited about the prospects of bouncing some ideas off people, doing my capstone (which will hopefully involve cosplay and internet subcultures and how to talk to people). Taking GRAPHIC DESIGN.

This summer had a couple rough points. I had a complete breakdown at one point because OMG WHO WOULD HIRE ME since I've been doing an internship at a startup that can't expand right now. And I had to do a lot of reflection about that and probably came to the conclusion I may be a freelancer for a while.

Ultimately, I want to work in education again, but not as a teacher. I want to help teachers get the resources they need, help design engaging lesson plans, help them understand the tech at their disposal, help make tools for them. There's a big problem with kids dropping out of school in this city and I want to help reverse that (or if they drop out of traditional school, get them a viable alternative). I'm going to be talking with a few of my old teachers about where I can start gaining the knowledge/experience in this sort of thing. I may have to start my own company?

This is really scary weird shit I am thinking about doing, but like, most tech for education people just get it so wrong. I don't want to end up making games for rich kids in their fancy computer labs or iPads or whatever. I don't want to make apps for rich dudes to add to their collection of shit they don't need.

If this major has taught me anything its that you really can do something good if you take the time to understand people. I'm thankfully engaged to a responsible adult who will help me work through all the financial stuff, as that will likely be the biggest hurdle.

I'm going to spend some real time building my portfolio of projects, doing things for friends so they can get some Real Designer Insight (at least hopefully I can provide that, I feel so much more confident now) and I can get some more "client work". Yeah I'll probably be making stuff for other people (not my friends of course) that I don't care as much about. But I know not to waste too much time.

Everything is kind of nebulous now but like.... that's ok. I got this.

At least, I think I am. I've been ruminating on this all morning, because well, I have free time now that I've been working. And while I've been doing a lot more creative stuff at this job, it's not you know, MINE exactly. And I find myself not wanting to do much at all in my free time.

Rest is good, of course, but am I just in a lazy mood... forever? I haven't felt the need to write, or sew, or even play around with graphics or anything outside of work. I just come home and watch TV and if I'm feeling extra with it I read a book or play a videogame. I was starting to think it was because I stared at a screen all day, but that just doesn't seem to be the case MOST days (some days, like yesterday where I spent an entire day in Illustrator on a hugeass flow diagram... that counts as needing a break).

Ladyfriend pointed this out, because well, my participation in anything hobby related has dwindled. It was within the context of fanfic and while I maybe thought that hobby was simply something I was no longer interested in, that's really not the case. I still get stupid excited over reading fic and seeing reviews and things...

Any of you sorts out there know how to pace your creative energy better between a job and hobbies? Am I becoming unable to concentrate or something? It's just really weird and I think that it's a little more than a simple "not feeling into it".

omg this new show is everything I have ever wanted in terms of Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham backstory media ever. Also fucking amazing casting all around. But geez that was good.

I guess I found out just in time because the first ep aired yesterday and it's online on NBC and wow. I really needed this, this month is sooo much stress.

Yes I am a huge fan of the whole Hannibal Lecter mythos don't judge me instead of YA fiction as a teenager I had this.

It's been too long since I've been excited about a crime drama show.