Cranky. Old. Man?

So I was at work for an hour before I decided to come home and work. Because I'm not playing the schedule game and because I'm still hacking up a lung. But thankfully this staying out of a cold office and sitting at a desk that has two monitors did help me feel better and get stuff done. Wahoo.

I have an excuse to make my Terra costume more detailed (and get a green wig, ha) since darcenciel wants to be Shadow and start up an FFVI group. I'm down with that. I may even get a prop sword out of the deal!

And awesomeness! They went with one of my themes suggested for fst! I suggested mentor characters, cause, yeah. This is me we're talking about. I have far too many mentor characters I adore, I may need some help picking when that comes around. XD This is basically silly, but at least that comm is picking up a little again and is full of less fail. I can't help it, I like music, and I like mixtapes. So.

I finished Beauty today as well, mainly because it's due back at the library soon, so I spend a little longer doing lunch break. It reminded me why my favorite moral was always "appearances can be deceiving" because yeah. If there was ever a childhood moral I clung to, it was that one. I guess that's why I'm so utterly and completely turned off when people redeem prettyboy villains--it just doesn't jive with that principle. And I'm nothing if not stubbornly principled. I guess this carries on with my trend of liking facially-scarred regretful types (and I mean UGLY scars) as they exist in a grey area between. It's food for thought at least. Not that heroes can't be pretty, I mean, I like Cecil (he's my favorite because he's flawed probably more than anyone would like to admit). But I have to wonder if less villains would get redeemed if less of them were pretty.

Maybe it's indicative of my own journey of principles. I'm all about balance now. I guess that means for me acknowledging that certain things exist side by side or something existential like that.

Book review to follow.

~Cendri

Oh my god, my schedule next year is going to suck no matter what I do. I'm down to two lingering stupid required classes (Diff Eq II, and Thermo-fucking-dynamics), one lab (controls! :<), a propulsion requirement (also :<), and of course my senior design. The rest are "electives" which means whatever Structures or Dynamics classes I want to take that will hopefully not kill me. I may take some rocket classes just cause rocket/space dynamics is simpler than air vehicle dynamics (do you want to deal with wings or not, basically). I managed to find a Structures elective that will prolly not suck, as I've taken a class with this guy before and managed a B (which is fucking amazing in engineering for me) because he's probably the oldest guy in the department. Also that course said nothing about math. Which is good. The other elective I'm trying to take is Principles of Dynamics which translates as "wobbly things with some math!" but since I rather like that professor (he was my first Dynamics prof and I generally understood what he was about) I'm willing to give it a shot.

This is all dependent on my adviser looking at my proposed Plan of Study and telling me if I'm psycho or not. I'm trying to overload this first semester slightly to account for a possible failing of my math class (considering my track record with that, this is necessary). Since I've got so few credits left (28!!! OMG ONLY 28!!!) the worst that can happen is I go on probation again. You have to be on probation for a couple semesters before the dropping happens, so ha. Even if I got an extra semester, that ain't happening. So really, my goal is simply to pass my damn classes and see how it goes. Having a job already makes me less stressed out about this, as they honestly don't care what my graduating GPA is, merely that I do graduate. My dad recommends I do interviews at other places, as it's easier to turn down a job after an interview than for your company to suddenly go belly up and you go begging for a job. Since engineering companies are slightly bastards about GPAs these days (I'll spare you the rant about how ridiculous that is) I'm probably not likely to get many offers. But then again, I have more experience than about 85% of the department (our school is really bad at setting up co-ops and jobs). I can always tell them that I have minions at this job and they want to make an action figure of me.

Future talk is crazy, basically. I'll admit to eying certain apartment complexes near my work building, because I'm about 98% likely to keep working here, full-time, and make salary after working for about 6 months to a year. Since I don't plan on having a car (hence the eying of the apartment complexes NEARBY) or cable, or anything really besides the basic utilities and of course, internet, I might not need too much of a raise. I figure since they do seem rather enthusiastic about keeping me working here, possibly on more projects and liasonning between companies at some point that I can negotiate a good wage. I don't want to be greedy, just be able to feed myself more than ramen. XD We'll see when it comes, I guess. Main goal is to graduate school already. SIX YEARS IS ENOUGH DAMN TIME.

And this is totally why I took the summer off. Working is awesome, school, not so much. I hope I haven't gotten dumber and suddenly won't understand this stuff. There might be bugging of the few grad students I know that are crazy and hanging around the department. Also, TAs.

Oh god, I'm dreading going back already. Why am I not one of those genius kids?

~Cendri

P.S. So I stumbled upon a college forum when I was looking around for class descriptions (because course numbers change sometimes) and I came across this entry:

Fortunately, I've been accepted to [name of my school]'s First Year Engineering Program. How is it (are there lots of weeding-out classes)? IF I do plan to attend [school] this year, do you think majoring in aerospace engineering ([my school's rank]) is worth my time and money? How's majoring in aerospace engineering, in future prospect? I've heard that not many students major in aerospace during their undergraduate degree; why is this? I also have a strong desire to study business/economics but I'm not sure whether I should or not. Do you think it's wise to major in aerospace engineering for undergraduate and go to MBA after few years of experience?

Many questions but I hope you can help me out. Thanks.

And maybe this is indicative of how long I've been in school, but I laughed uncontrollably. Especially at the "there's not many in there". No, there's not many in my major because you have to be a little out of your mind. XD

P.P.S. BEHOLD A POLL! Because all the cool kids are doing it and I'm slightly bored.

Oy, I knew I should have done more than go out and, well, buy things this weekend, but hey. I think I needed a little break, get out of the dorms and off campus. Busses are wonderful.

Watchmen kept me up far too late last night. Because it is full of wonderful and I wanted to get to Rorschach's chapter. Because he so crazy. I was too tired to get to the second Nite Owl's story, which made me sad, because I kind of like him. He's got a nerdiness that the others don't seem to have.

My desktop Inbox is kind of full right now. I went on a crazy fanart spree. I should probably transfer that to my backup/picasa when I have time. Silly, I know, but I don't like to keep more than I need on my actual harddrive. That's what I have web and backup for. Makes the computer run better, with less junk on it.

My to do list has gotten bigger. On the writing front I've two claims, a fanwork-a-thon story that I need to wrap up (I know where I want it to go, sitting down and making it go has been a challenge. But when I had time, instead of any of that, I got re-inspired to do an original piece that I'm sure only I care about. I'm going to fail school. XD At least my WIP list has thinned a bit.

I'm debating which of my original projects to pull characters from for imaginarybeasts this month. Genderswap is always a great theme. I'm half tempted to write about that paladin character I've wanted to insert into Archetypicality (basically a bunch of stories where I play with reincarnation, archetypes, and fucked up destiny + physics). Because girl paladins are awesome. Especially ones that own a comic book store (I blame you, Alan Moore). Or I could write an Imperaxyl piece. XD Gah, brain won't focus.

I'd kindly like to ask for a time-space warp that will give me an extra month, plz. XD

And I've not even gotten into the school assignments I have. Way to go, lighter load that still manages to make everything happen at once. At least Jersey Highwind is back in class. Having it taught by the TA on Friday was suck. And having no class on Wednesday.

Onward!

~Cendri

P.S. Fables Volume 3 got! Read through most of it already, because yeah. Was just the right price for the gift card I had. Dear Snow White and Bigby Wolf--can you two get any more awesome?

That's it, I GET IT UNIVERSE. I HAVE UNOFFICIALLY DECIDED TO MAKE ONE OF MY GRAD SCHOOL STUDIES BE EDUCATION. UNOFFICIALLY ONLY BECAUSE I NEED TO FINISH THE UNDERGRAD WITHOUT DYING. BUT I AM NOT BECOMING A STUFFY PROFESSOR, OH NO, I AM GOING TO DEVOTE MY LIFE TO CREATIVITY.

Reasons?

- History Professors That Keep Pointing Me In That Direction With That Knowing Sort of Prodding
- My Job Of Awesome Which I Miss Like Fyre
- My Inability to Learn Anything Without BABBLING About It
- My New Favorite Aero Professor

More on that professor. So today, we get to class and he's setting up the computer projector for something. I'm thinking "oh neat, he's going to tangent on some Skunkworks stuff and basically make my life" because really? Tangents aren't just so that shit doesn't end up on the test. Tangents are where I actually learn as opposed to endless notes on the board (first_seventhe totally knows what I'm talking about).

So what he put up was this AMAZING video where an old dude was talking to a bunch of educators and basically said everything that I'd suspected since entering college and nearly losing my soul and getting it back. Basically, this guy said, "the older you get, the less creative you are encouraged to be".

!!

( and more on that, because I'm apt to ramble )

tl;dr version for those watching at home:

Yay creativity!
Boo soul-sucking equations!
OMGWTF can I has graduation now?

~Cendri