LOOK AT WHAT I'M GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! SHE COMMISSIONED ART FOR ME*.
(note that the image is big, so, you don't have to look)
NOW WHEN MY MOM ASKS WHAT THE HECK I'VE BEEN WRITING I CAN JUST POINT TO THE PICTURE. IT EXPLAINS ALL.

*Done by the ever awesome CrimsonSun on deviantart.