I had a much longer comment here, but I decided it wasn't worth getting bitched at by strangers for.
I came out of my schooling situation fucked up. :P If that makes me weak in people's eyes, I can't do anything to stop them from being wrong and idiotic. But yeah. Suffice it to say, some of that does have to do with the fact that Catholic schools are misogynistic as hell. There are wnderful teachers in them sometimes. I had a lot of very good ones. But there are horrible bastard teachers too. I've seen teachers who feel up students (if the students are female guess who gets blamed - hint: it's not the person with the dong), I've seen teachers indoctrinating students into their woman-hating bullshit (the closest I ever came to really hurting my sister was when she parroted this back - thank the gods World Youth Day opened her eyes to what fanaticism looks like and she grew a clue) - guys generally get away with MORE because I swear there's this unspoken assumption that girl = Eve-derp = more sinful-like = we must have done something to deserve it.
Catholicism is hugely kyriarchal. And now all its ghosts are coming out of the woodwork to bite it in the face, and I cannot say I am sorry. Priests and teachers who have problems are not removed from their positions. They just get shuffled around. The asshole teacher I mentioned above who felt up my classmates? He was never fired.
My parents probably would have transferred me if I'd asked enough, but I was the kind of person who dug her nails in and held on with her teeth and went 'fuck you all'. I learned that the front people put up can tell you a lot about how they're weak or afraid (unless they're a sociopath like one of my bullies was - like, she actually WENT TOO FAR for the others and one threatened to kick the shit out of her because she was going to bring my family into it - which is kind of funny, like, I'm an okay target but my family is not). And now bullies are afraid of ME. Which is kind of funny.
So yeah. Weak, maybe, but not helpless by far, and seen as potentially fucking dangerous to people who turned into bullies because they were harassed themselves. Why? Because I never turned INTO an abuser like several foolish folks I could mention did. I never went "OH BUT MAH LYFE SEW HARD BLOOO BLOOO BLOOOO" and used that as an excuse to be a fucking douche to all and sundry. I never became my enemy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-24 12:49 pm (UTC)I came out of my schooling situation fucked up. :P If that makes me weak in people's eyes, I can't do anything to stop them from being wrong and idiotic. But yeah. Suffice it to say, some of that does have to do with the fact that Catholic schools are misogynistic as hell. There are wnderful teachers in them sometimes. I had a lot of very good ones. But there are horrible bastard teachers too. I've seen teachers who feel up students (if the students are female guess who gets blamed - hint: it's not the person with the dong), I've seen teachers indoctrinating students into their woman-hating bullshit (the closest I ever came to really hurting my sister was when she parroted this back - thank the gods World Youth Day opened her eyes to what fanaticism looks like and she grew a clue) - guys generally get away with MORE because I swear there's this unspoken assumption that girl = Eve-derp = more sinful-like = we must have done something to deserve it.
Catholicism is hugely kyriarchal. And now all its ghosts are coming out of the woodwork to bite it in the face, and I cannot say I am sorry. Priests and teachers who have problems are not removed from their positions. They just get shuffled around. The asshole teacher I mentioned above who felt up my classmates? He was never fired.
My parents probably would have transferred me if I'd asked enough, but I was the kind of person who dug her nails in and held on with her teeth and went 'fuck you all'. I learned that the front people put up can tell you a lot about how they're weak or afraid (unless they're a sociopath like one of my bullies was - like, she actually WENT TOO FAR for the others and one threatened to kick the shit out of her because she was going to bring my family into it - which is kind of funny, like, I'm an okay target but my family is not). And now bullies are afraid of ME. Which is kind of funny.
So yeah. Weak, maybe, but not helpless by far, and seen as potentially fucking dangerous to people who turned into bullies because they were harassed themselves. Why? Because I never turned INTO an abuser like several foolish folks I could mention did. I never went "OH BUT MAH LYFE SEW HARD BLOOO BLOOO BLOOOO" and used that as an excuse to be a fucking douche to all and sundry. I never became my enemy.
So in that, I am not weak.