The Only Identity is You
Aug. 25th, 2011 04:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crankyoldmanI am kind of over being policed on how I should appear.
I've had an issue recently where people keep telling me I "don't look gay" because I'm going through something of a long-haired skirt wearing period. More femme. I still tend towards boyish clothing/accessories as a default, but I've expanded my options, which is something I like to do. And you know, it kind of doesn't matter why I'm feeling like this lately, or looking like this.
It kind of baffles me a lot though, because I am supposedly living in a fairly liberal part of town, working in a office where being out isn't only acknowledge, but encouraged, and I hear this more than I ever did in college. From other GLBT people as often as from straight people.
Who decided what gay looks like, anyway?
I've always taken a stance on identity that it's not up to me to define someone. Really, it's not. I can define my relationship to them, or my opinion of them, but their identity? Is all up to them. I don't care what they look like, or how they behave or who they are screwing, it is up to them. Even if they are currently trying to decide their identity, or go through several or are many identities.
And this is a pretty mild example, I can't imagine if I say, identified as male but wanted to keep my hair long. Or any other combination of not looking like how people want me to look? Egads.
I think we would all be happier if people just stayed out of other people's business unless invited to.
I've had an issue recently where people keep telling me I "don't look gay" because I'm going through something of a long-haired skirt wearing period. More femme. I still tend towards boyish clothing/accessories as a default, but I've expanded my options, which is something I like to do. And you know, it kind of doesn't matter why I'm feeling like this lately, or looking like this.
It kind of baffles me a lot though, because I am supposedly living in a fairly liberal part of town, working in a office where being out isn't only acknowledge, but encouraged, and I hear this more than I ever did in college. From other GLBT people as often as from straight people.
Who decided what gay looks like, anyway?
I've always taken a stance on identity that it's not up to me to define someone. Really, it's not. I can define my relationship to them, or my opinion of them, but their identity? Is all up to them. I don't care what they look like, or how they behave or who they are screwing, it is up to them. Even if they are currently trying to decide their identity, or go through several or are many identities.
And this is a pretty mild example, I can't imagine if I say, identified as male but wanted to keep my hair long. Or any other combination of not looking like how people want me to look? Egads.
I think we would all be happier if people just stayed out of other people's business unless invited to.