Some ramble or other

[crankyoldman]

Today was raining, which meant that once I was out of class I huddled in my room and pretended that I hadn't just been out in the rain. The strangest things can just bring my mood into isolationist mode. Bleh.

Usually when I have moods like this I troll the internets and read very personal entries that people leave out. I'm such a lurker, such a sit and watch people in the dining hall type of person. It's vaguely creepy, I know, but I can't help it. It may not seem like it, but I really love people. Sure, they suck sometimes, but I really can just feed off of people's emotions. Probably explains a lot of my interests and hobbies.

There's a girl in this dorm (I do believe she is an RA or something similar) who has an older look (it's the eyes) than a lot of the girls around here. I am absolutely fascinated by her. She seems friendly, but that's not the fascinating part. She seems like the type of person that has a lot to hide. I need to watch this tendency of mine to just be utterly and completely enamored with mysterious people, because personal experience has led me to believe that most of the time, I will not like finding out whatever it is that makes them mysterious. Because about 75% of the time it's been because they're psychotic.

Still.

That's actually what got me started writing. Seeing a person and developing scenarios in my head where I can tell them that I find them intriguing. It's not because I'm shy (though I am, but only for people around my age) but because I'm practical enough to know that keeping those sorts of people at a distance will keep my interest intact. As strange as that sounds. I've always been prone to infatuations, but luckily for the most part I've trained myself not to act on them.

Of course, there are exceptions. Dating one (oh ho, now I sound creepy!), made friends with others. Kind of makes me wonder if anyone watches me.

~Cendri

Comments

[drakonlily.livejournal.com]

I imagine that people are paying attention to you. Mostly because I cannot imagine not paying attention to you. But I'm biased. XD I understand what you're saying. It's like once you realize something doesn't happen by magic it can sometimes lose it's luster. Sometimes knowing what makes things tick makes them all the more fascinating.

;)