INSOMNIA. DAMN YOU.

[crankyoldman]

Summer was always Book Time for me, and since I finally have a summer I am not working for the Air Force, getting divorced, or working two horrific jobs during, I am getting back into the habit of reading. And since I was getting old books homes, I keep running across Old Books, and realized just how much I'd lost myself for a time, and that I might be getting that back. INTROSPECTION THROUGH BOOKS = WIN.



Alright, so my favorite writers from the Endless Summers of Reading were by far Madeleine L'Engle and Katherine Paterson. Which roughly translates to CRAZY SPIRITUAL SCI-FI AND TIMELESS INTROSPECTIVE EMO. IT IS NO SURPRISE I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER THOSE GENRES/THEMES. As I read through parts from my favorites by those writers (which, strangely, there are a couple of L'Engle works I missed, because after inheriting The Babysitter's Club from my cousin and getting through five books before becoming utterly disgusted with series books, it was that traumatizing to me) I can see where they have left strange imprints on my own themes in writing. And why I'm such a picky bitch about certain things. I equally liked quiet and loud heroines, because sometimes I was loud and brash and sometimes I was really fucking shy. And I liked knowing that I could be awesome either way.

And then there's Harriet. Of Harriet the Spy fame. Who unbeknownst to me is somewhat of a lesbian icon despite not actually being one. Figures. Harriet was my hero for the longest time because she contained just the right amount of Snottiness and just the right amount of Crazy Curiosity for me to basically want to be her. The Pretty Girls and the Courageous Girls and the Headstrong Girls were totally not awesome, as they seemed as real to me as suddenly becoming heir to a kingdom, which my parents pounded into my head was Not Bloody Likely. Also, she basically played by herself most of the time, with a select few Weird Friends, which I mostly did (and with my sister). Harriet was just a little more brazen than I was at times, which was just cooler enough than me to make her truly awesome. Also, a lot of people are put off by Harriet, and we all know I love those characters that Make People Uncomfortable. I mean, she saw a PSYCHIATRIST. At nine, I firmly believed I needed to see one. XD

The most important thing I learned from Harriet was tact, though. Otherwise known as keeping your yap shut and writing the truth in journals where no one could see. As awful as that may sound in today's "everyone must listen to me, I am unique and have a voice" world, this was precisely the lesson that I needed to keep my ass from getting knifed for being a blunt jerk to everyone. If Harriet, who was everything I felt but cooler could keep it down and use little lies to keep from getting lynched, I damn well could too. Not perfect, because some people ex-husbands come to mind might find said journals and conclude that you are the Devil, but at least I managed to avoid notebook detection until way past puberty.

One of the things I miss in kids books is repercussions. Sure, it's fine to be a beautiful and unique snowflake in your mind, but the world, for all its attempts to fool you otherwise in advertising, is largely intolerant. This doesn't mean you have to conform, lord knows I don't think I could conform if I wanted to at this point. But in order to receive tolerance, you have to exercise it. Which sometimes means just ignoring ignorant dillweeds, and sometimes means swallowing your pride. It's not a moral lesson as much as one that keeps you from becoming as much of a jackass as the people that you feel alienated from (if that is the case). And that is something which causes me to edit myself a lot--in the good way, not the bad. This LJ is like leaving a notebook out in public. A lot of the Web is just like that, all these Spy Notebooks left out in the public. I almost wonder if we divulge too much, leave ourselves vulnerable, leave ourselves out there that thoughtcrime can be legally persecuted as libel.

Just strange thoughts happen when you can't sleep. XD

Comments

[astralavator.livejournal.com]

Strange, while I’ve never read Harriet the Spy (did see the movie once) it was one of my mainstream friend’s favorite books. I used to enjoy the Headstrong heroines as a child, I probably still would if they’re older counterparts were more balanced, mostly because I was one back then. The unique butterfly idea seems terrible harmful because people seem to believe they’re special so the consequences don’t apply to them but they do to everyone else. Not that I'm good at it but I do realize walking into the road while a car is coming will lead you to getting hit. Of course, the lack of consequences in fiction is strange purely because it offers conflict which people usual like to read about.

Have fun with your books.