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Alright, so I'm a little annoyed today. Not because of work (because the people at work are awesome and we're working out some awesome shit) but because there's a theme in the things I'm reading lately. Well, on the internet and other such publication places. It's the tone that is starting to really make me kind of twitchy. The worst part of it is that it seems to be coming from women!
And it is this idea that if you are sciencey or just like sci-fi, you cannot be girly. At all.
Now, the definition of "girly" seems to be along the lines of: cares about character or people relations. Um, ok? Clearly they've not met my nerdy guy friends. Hell, I spent a good hour talking with the minions about RahXephon and Minion J said something profound about how the whole series is about two people trying to find a moment where they can exist together--and this is a series with GIANT ROBOTS. And last I checked, my minions were both guys. You can ask their wives for confirmation if you want. Sure, we'll geek about blowing things up and all that, but we also like the interesting character things in our nerd 'verses. They don't seem to think it makes them pansies or any crap like that.
I have always been under the impression that while science fiction deals a lot with technology and strange locales, it is ultimately about the human experience. It just does it in a way that is less obvious and more palatable and on occasion (considering a lot of the origins of the genre) a little "masculine". But whether you're using a robot to show you the vastness of human emotion or a human, it's still the same thing. And to praise one and deny the other is a fallacy. The best science fiction I've ever read always had a depth to it; you lost yourself in the possibilities and stayed grounded in the realities. Good fantasy is similar, I've just read far less fantasy outside of folklore, so I can't vouch for it as much. It just happens to be more fun sometimes, because instead of walking you can fly.
But too often I'm seeing in the effort of saying "hey I'm a girl and I like sci-fi" that there is a denial of all the girly aspects. Almost trying too hard, in some ways. Is it really so bad to admit that while you like shit blowing up and wicked awesome space battles you also were rather touched by two characters sharing a moment? I'm not even saying romantic, because I think all too often that is an umbrella term we use because as a generation raised on advertisements its becoming harder and harder to distinguish between the sexual and the emotional (think about the majority of fanfiction). Is it so wrong to admit that the drama and the technology equally get your heart racing?
In the end, it's all meta from the same source. If birds could write stories, I'd imagine they'd come out a little differently.
I might lose my geek cred for some of this, but my favorite things are always, always dialog related. How people and aliens and robots and zombies and all that COMMUNICATE has always been interesting to me. The reason that BSG ate me so completely wasn't just the drama (because let's face it, there's drama), but the communications and miscommunications. The questions of what is human, what is moral, what is right. How many wars were started on a mistranslation? Shit like that, I just... have always gotten into. It doesn't make me any less of a nerd. I still spend way too much time geeking out over things that are highly technical and have proficiency in some things that the average person couldn't give two shits about.
Really, when I hear things that are disparaged (very often traditionally feminine things) I know that there hasn't been much advancement. I mean, I figured as much anyway, but especially now that I've started to focus on balancing my psyche, on embracing all aspects. And the main message is this: you can succeed if you're a woman, but only if you're really just acting like a man". Or "you can join our club as long as you don't remind us you're female". It's still the equation that feminine = weak and it annoys me. We are past the point that we should still be thinking that, as a society. And maybe I expect too much out of what I think are intelligent people, but really, you're just playing into that game by denying your "weakness". I like "strong" women who cry, or "weak" men with intellect. It's about trying; failing or succeeding.
I think I've finally made peace with the term "feminism", because I think I finally figured out what it really means. It doesn't mean women are better than men. It doesn't even have to have anything to do with women or men. It's putting the feminine on par with the masculine. For a human being needs a balance of both, either within the self or around the self. It has nothing to do with heterosexuality or gender or anything beyond the human mind. It's sensitivity on a similar level to progressiveness. And it's awesome.
Feminism is about not buying into any sort of role before you know yourself. It's like my friends that while their designing a plane want to make it pretty, and the artist that wants function. It's balancing biology and the human ability to say no to it. We're past Nietzsche's ideas on strength.
That, ah, de-evolved, but that happens. XD It's been rolling around in my head a while. Being out of school leaves some of my mental faculties in need of debating.
Linkage for those that tl;dr:
- Omg, I love this outfit. Then again, I love that era muchly.
- Thinking about packing for Otakon considering the new weight rules and shit. Also because I like reading. XD
~Cendri
P.S. TODAY'S MOTTO AS DISPLAYED ON OUR WHITEBOARD:
"Tip of the Day: Avoid making Dracula angry!"
And it is this idea that if you are sciencey or just like sci-fi, you cannot be girly. At all.
Now, the definition of "girly" seems to be along the lines of: cares about character or people relations. Um, ok? Clearly they've not met my nerdy guy friends. Hell, I spent a good hour talking with the minions about RahXephon and Minion J said something profound about how the whole series is about two people trying to find a moment where they can exist together--and this is a series with GIANT ROBOTS. And last I checked, my minions were both guys. You can ask their wives for confirmation if you want. Sure, we'll geek about blowing things up and all that, but we also like the interesting character things in our nerd 'verses. They don't seem to think it makes them pansies or any crap like that.
I have always been under the impression that while science fiction deals a lot with technology and strange locales, it is ultimately about the human experience. It just does it in a way that is less obvious and more palatable and on occasion (considering a lot of the origins of the genre) a little "masculine". But whether you're using a robot to show you the vastness of human emotion or a human, it's still the same thing. And to praise one and deny the other is a fallacy. The best science fiction I've ever read always had a depth to it; you lost yourself in the possibilities and stayed grounded in the realities. Good fantasy is similar, I've just read far less fantasy outside of folklore, so I can't vouch for it as much. It just happens to be more fun sometimes, because instead of walking you can fly.
But too often I'm seeing in the effort of saying "hey I'm a girl and I like sci-fi" that there is a denial of all the girly aspects. Almost trying too hard, in some ways. Is it really so bad to admit that while you like shit blowing up and wicked awesome space battles you also were rather touched by two characters sharing a moment? I'm not even saying romantic, because I think all too often that is an umbrella term we use because as a generation raised on advertisements its becoming harder and harder to distinguish between the sexual and the emotional (think about the majority of fanfiction). Is it so wrong to admit that the drama and the technology equally get your heart racing?
In the end, it's all meta from the same source. If birds could write stories, I'd imagine they'd come out a little differently.
I might lose my geek cred for some of this, but my favorite things are always, always dialog related. How people and aliens and robots and zombies and all that COMMUNICATE has always been interesting to me. The reason that BSG ate me so completely wasn't just the drama (because let's face it, there's drama), but the communications and miscommunications. The questions of what is human, what is moral, what is right. How many wars were started on a mistranslation? Shit like that, I just... have always gotten into. It doesn't make me any less of a nerd. I still spend way too much time geeking out over things that are highly technical and have proficiency in some things that the average person couldn't give two shits about.
Really, when I hear things that are disparaged (very often traditionally feminine things) I know that there hasn't been much advancement. I mean, I figured as much anyway, but especially now that I've started to focus on balancing my psyche, on embracing all aspects. And the main message is this: you can succeed if you're a woman, but only if you're really just acting like a man". Or "you can join our club as long as you don't remind us you're female". It's still the equation that feminine = weak and it annoys me. We are past the point that we should still be thinking that, as a society. And maybe I expect too much out of what I think are intelligent people, but really, you're just playing into that game by denying your "weakness". I like "strong" women who cry, or "weak" men with intellect. It's about trying; failing or succeeding.
I think I've finally made peace with the term "feminism", because I think I finally figured out what it really means. It doesn't mean women are better than men. It doesn't even have to have anything to do with women or men. It's putting the feminine on par with the masculine. For a human being needs a balance of both, either within the self or around the self. It has nothing to do with heterosexuality or gender or anything beyond the human mind. It's sensitivity on a similar level to progressiveness. And it's awesome.
Feminism is about not buying into any sort of role before you know yourself. It's like my friends that while their designing a plane want to make it pretty, and the artist that wants function. It's balancing biology and the human ability to say no to it. We're past Nietzsche's ideas on strength.
That, ah, de-evolved, but that happens. XD It's been rolling around in my head a while. Being out of school leaves some of my mental faculties in need of debating.
Linkage for those that tl;dr:
- Omg, I love this outfit. Then again, I love that era muchly.
- Thinking about packing for Otakon considering the new weight rules and shit. Also because I like reading. XD
~Cendri
P.S. TODAY'S MOTTO AS DISPLAYED ON OUR WHITEBOARD:
"Tip of the Day: Avoid making Dracula angry!"