[Liquid] Vertigen
Dec. 29th, 2008 01:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crankyoldmanFandom: Original
Rating: PG-13
Summary: You cannot live as only the self.
Notes: Just trying to get back in the swing of this.
Song: Preview only!
Previous Parts: In the list here.
If she opened her mouth in the water that surrounded her, she'd drown. So she kept it shut.
No one was speaking her language anyway, because her language died the instant she walked in the door. Maybe someday they would sing it in churches, maybe someone would use it as a dirge. There was no such thing as an independent woman when people talked with admiration in their voice for her accomplishments, but disappointment in their eyes at her simple wedding ring and lack of offspring on her hip.
When people talked, they lied. They couldn't help it, it was that fight against nature that the human mind always faced. She knew, deep down, that everyone was an animal, and animals didn't want for much. The dressings around it were all a way to get to nature, or to get away from it. Flowers were just little sexual organs, after all. Giving them to a girl was just a code.
But for now, she had music.
She could be silent, with the music, and no one would try to talk to her that way. Even with lyrics, music never lied, especially if she had no idea what the words meant. Ignorance was truth and truth was a close pulse to her eardrums, and a beat trailing down her neck.
It was how to be strong.
But when the lady at the grocery store tapped her on the shoulder, the illusion was shattered. Lady Sorrow of the House was standing before her, a baby resting on her shoulder. The cannned goods behind her turned it into some strange Icon, and she expected snakes at her feet and radiance from around her dark head.
"Can I help you?"
Lady Sorrow's syllables were fast and rolled off her tongue with foreign clings and clatters. She tried to keep up, but she could barely catch any words. The feeling of distance had to be mutual, for her large eyes were almost a reflection of steel grey, even if they were warm and brown. Even they couldn't speak to each other, when there could be so much to say.
She handed her a can, knowing it was the wrong one, and walked away.
---
"We never talk anymore. You lay down and pass out every time I'm home, love."
"I'm just tired."
"You even forgot half the groceries. You just brought drinks back. We can't live off that."
He was just talking in tongues, the same refrain. If she opened her mouth, she would drown.
"I thought you were better than this, so independent. Why even go to all these classes so you can get a job, if you're never going to go to it? You're wasting our lives."
If she opened her mouth.
---
Aquell matí em vaig llevar, no recordo on ni tan sols el temps que fa,i tot havia canviat. Però jo no ho sabia, encara, i més m'hagués valgut no saber-ho mai. El meu món era petit, però suficient, abans. Deixà de ser-ho. La meva vida, un cel particular, nul.
---
She couldn't understand the words, and here she thought that she was smart. All this isolation was eventually going to undo the whole world.
---
That morning I woke up, I don't remember where it was, not either the weather outside, and it had all changed. But me, I didn't know it, yet, and it would have been better if I never knew. My world was small, but big enough for me, before. It stopped to be that way. My life, a certain sky, it's over the uncertainty, sweet loneliness.
---
Rating: PG-13
Summary: You cannot live as only the self.
Notes: Just trying to get back in the swing of this.
Song: Preview only!
Previous Parts: In the list here.
If she opened her mouth in the water that surrounded her, she'd drown. So she kept it shut.
No one was speaking her language anyway, because her language died the instant she walked in the door. Maybe someday they would sing it in churches, maybe someone would use it as a dirge. There was no such thing as an independent woman when people talked with admiration in their voice for her accomplishments, but disappointment in their eyes at her simple wedding ring and lack of offspring on her hip.
When people talked, they lied. They couldn't help it, it was that fight against nature that the human mind always faced. She knew, deep down, that everyone was an animal, and animals didn't want for much. The dressings around it were all a way to get to nature, or to get away from it. Flowers were just little sexual organs, after all. Giving them to a girl was just a code.
But for now, she had music.
She could be silent, with the music, and no one would try to talk to her that way. Even with lyrics, music never lied, especially if she had no idea what the words meant. Ignorance was truth and truth was a close pulse to her eardrums, and a beat trailing down her neck.
It was how to be strong.
But when the lady at the grocery store tapped her on the shoulder, the illusion was shattered. Lady Sorrow of the House was standing before her, a baby resting on her shoulder. The cannned goods behind her turned it into some strange Icon, and she expected snakes at her feet and radiance from around her dark head.
"Can I help you?"
Lady Sorrow's syllables were fast and rolled off her tongue with foreign clings and clatters. She tried to keep up, but she could barely catch any words. The feeling of distance had to be mutual, for her large eyes were almost a reflection of steel grey, even if they were warm and brown. Even they couldn't speak to each other, when there could be so much to say.
She handed her a can, knowing it was the wrong one, and walked away.
---
"We never talk anymore. You lay down and pass out every time I'm home, love."
"I'm just tired."
"You even forgot half the groceries. You just brought drinks back. We can't live off that."
He was just talking in tongues, the same refrain. If she opened her mouth, she would drown.
"I thought you were better than this, so independent. Why even go to all these classes so you can get a job, if you're never going to go to it? You're wasting our lives."
If she opened her mouth.
---
Aquell matí em vaig llevar, no recordo on ni tan sols el temps que fa,i tot havia canviat. Però jo no ho sabia, encara, i més m'hagués valgut no saber-ho mai. El meu món era petit, però suficient, abans. Deixà de ser-ho. La meva vida, un cel particular, nul.
---
She couldn't understand the words, and here she thought that she was smart. All this isolation was eventually going to undo the whole world.
---
That morning I woke up, I don't remember where it was, not either the weather outside, and it had all changed. But me, I didn't know it, yet, and it would have been better if I never knew. My world was small, but big enough for me, before. It stopped to be that way. My life, a certain sky, it's over the uncertainty, sweet loneliness.
---