Having a personal creative block

[crankyoldman]

At least, I think I am. I've been ruminating on this all morning, because well, I have free time now that I've been working. And while I've been doing a lot more creative stuff at this job, it's not you know, MINE exactly. And I find myself not wanting to do much at all in my free time.

Rest is good, of course, but am I just in a lazy mood... forever? I haven't felt the need to write, or sew, or even play around with graphics or anything outside of work. I just come home and watch TV and if I'm feeling extra with it I read a book or play a videogame. I was starting to think it was because I stared at a screen all day, but that just doesn't seem to be the case MOST days (some days, like yesterday where I spent an entire day in Illustrator on a hugeass flow diagram... that counts as needing a break).

Ladyfriend pointed this out, because well, my participation in anything hobby related has dwindled. It was within the context of fanfic and while I maybe thought that hobby was simply something I was no longer interested in, that's really not the case. I still get stupid excited over reading fic and seeing reviews and things...

Any of you sorts out there know how to pace your creative energy better between a job and hobbies? Am I becoming unable to concentrate or something? It's just really weird and I think that it's a little more than a simple "not feeling into it".

Comments

[yukie]

For me, doing what seems fun/is fun helps. And it doesn't matter if it`s wweh childish wweh. I have a pack of crayola markers that I will just DOODLE with. I plan to get some crayons and some giant paper to draw on. If I'm blocked, playing is what I need to do. If I think of creative stuff as work that torpedoes my drive, because it becomes obligatory and commodified/'something you must do to be worthwhile' rather than 'something i do because i love to'.

so seriously, FUCK ~putting away childish things~. Play is a fucking necessity, it is good for brains. So if you feel like writing ridiculous fanfic for an old franchise you love, do that. You are still creating; it is not of less worth because it's silly and playful. People make the mistake all the time of bein convinced that something needs to be "grown-up" and it must have GRAVITAS and be STIRRING and CHUNKY and FULL-BODIED all the time, and you are not allowed to indulge in the literary/artistic equivalent of cookies and milk ever blah blah blah... Yeah nah. That's crap. In my experience, if you get too preoccupied with being teh super duper growed-up person and ignore what you love/what is fun in favour of like--I don't know, TEH GRYMMDARQUE SRSBZNSS HEARTBREAKIN' STAGGERING OSCARWORTHY ET CETERA...if your work becomes an obligation or a hollowed-out means to an end (I do not count commissioned/contracted work as this, even though it is a means to the end that is money--the creative impulse is still your own voice in these cases), if there is no joy in the creation and no play...then the work stops having meaning. It becomes by-rote. your muse will give you the finger. And yes, silly playful stuff does have meaning, It's nourishing. It's a treat. It's all well and good to have a good healthy diet, but if you deny yourself treats and associate them with negative qualities...thhbppptt.

(My friends who do freelance illustration work taught me this incidentally. XD "Sometimes you have to draw Wolverine in a space helmet with a jetpack, punching a two-headed air-shark with freaky spider legs, with a backdrop of a crazy-ass Martian landscape...just because you can" was the exact phrase used.)

Doing something silly and playful, for me, will immediately mangle blockages. If it doesn't, I know I need to tale a break and try again. YMMV, but this works for me. XD