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crankyoldmanWhere do I even begin.
I've long since forgotten how to do any form of html for entries, so I'm relying on the rich text editor to help, so bear with me here. This year's entry (seems to be about the pace I do?) is not going to be the most fun out of them.
TW: Parental health scares
So, my dad had a stroke less than a week ago. He is alive and in a very nice rehabilitation facility here in the town he and mom moved back to. The place isn't far from the house, which only has one major level minus a bonus room that really serves as storage and an extra place to stow guests. I focus on this because currently he can't walk (but is working on standing) nor use his left arm. He can think, give orders about things and remember the master password for his password manager, which I have been using to make sure I can get into all manner of random things that he wants me to take care of.
It has been probably the longest week of my life which isn't even over yet. Dad is dealing with it like someone who has their life well-planned for the disability of someone else would--not well. But at least the kind of not well in which he takes it out on no one but himself, which leads me to the obvious conclusion that I will have to set him up with some kind of counseling (if he'll accept it, I aim to make it only his own decision-making being the only barrier).
The month before, my mother-in-law had her own health injury thing, though she is much more mobile and much more cutting in how she talks. No major details here, she's private and not my mother.
I am in a weird state, if I'm honest. I thought this would be more lonely, and it's not been, but then again I've spent enough time not relying on my extended family that their absence feels natural rather than an offense. It feels weirder having access to all my dad's digital everything, since I'm so so very private about my own. Nothing strange in there and I haven't pried at all, just accessed what needed to be done (like canceling their 40th anniversary trip, a cruise) and made sure I knew all the ways I could handle two-factor from a distance for when I get home.
Also that my best friend that I met in grad school can still be there for me (this time by driving me part of the way here) after her own amount of life hitting her hard last year was really nice. It has been about 20 years since the last time I had to do one of those "can you pick me up at x and take me to y" types of calls to someone at less than polite hour. Sign I should probably ask for help more often, if I'm honest.
I just know the next time I'm in the last zone of FFIV's Dawntrail expansion I will probably have a bit of a breakdown. Because spoilers. iykyk. For now though, I sit at my work computer in my dad's office listening to soundtracks until I can get to the next thing on my to do list. I'm very happy I have a sister at least, and that she will handle the things I can't and vice versa. We got this.
Other discoveries and news:
- So I'm low support needs autistic, which only surprises me. I knew something was up other than you know, anxiety and trauma, but that was not on my bingo card if I can be frank. It certainly helps in how to set some things up though. Doesn't excuse as much as somewhat explain some of the ways I have been a dick in the past.
- Getting a bit more plugged into some ethical fashion groups not only helps with my shopping, but also with a tiny corner of wanting to do something a bit better against consumerism. Though to be fair I never was quite that bad at it, it's still nice to discover. Let me know if you want any recs or suggestions, I'm happy to provide.
- Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance is a really great improvement on the base game. If you were wondering.
I've long since forgotten how to do any form of html for entries, so I'm relying on the rich text editor to help, so bear with me here. This year's entry (seems to be about the pace I do?) is not going to be the most fun out of them.
TW: Parental health scares
So, my dad had a stroke less than a week ago. He is alive and in a very nice rehabilitation facility here in the town he and mom moved back to. The place isn't far from the house, which only has one major level minus a bonus room that really serves as storage and an extra place to stow guests. I focus on this because currently he can't walk (but is working on standing) nor use his left arm. He can think, give orders about things and remember the master password for his password manager, which I have been using to make sure I can get into all manner of random things that he wants me to take care of.
It has been probably the longest week of my life which isn't even over yet. Dad is dealing with it like someone who has their life well-planned for the disability of someone else would--not well. But at least the kind of not well in which he takes it out on no one but himself, which leads me to the obvious conclusion that I will have to set him up with some kind of counseling (if he'll accept it, I aim to make it only his own decision-making being the only barrier).
The month before, my mother-in-law had her own health injury thing, though she is much more mobile and much more cutting in how she talks. No major details here, she's private and not my mother.
I am in a weird state, if I'm honest. I thought this would be more lonely, and it's not been, but then again I've spent enough time not relying on my extended family that their absence feels natural rather than an offense. It feels weirder having access to all my dad's digital everything, since I'm so so very private about my own. Nothing strange in there and I haven't pried at all, just accessed what needed to be done (like canceling their 40th anniversary trip, a cruise) and made sure I knew all the ways I could handle two-factor from a distance for when I get home.
Also that my best friend that I met in grad school can still be there for me (this time by driving me part of the way here) after her own amount of life hitting her hard last year was really nice. It has been about 20 years since the last time I had to do one of those "can you pick me up at x and take me to y" types of calls to someone at less than polite hour. Sign I should probably ask for help more often, if I'm honest.
I just know the next time I'm in the last zone of FFIV's Dawntrail expansion I will probably have a bit of a breakdown. Because spoilers. iykyk. For now though, I sit at my work computer in my dad's office listening to soundtracks until I can get to the next thing on my to do list. I'm very happy I have a sister at least, and that she will handle the things I can't and vice versa. We got this.
Other discoveries and news:
- So I'm low support needs autistic, which only surprises me. I knew something was up other than you know, anxiety and trauma, but that was not on my bingo card if I can be frank. It certainly helps in how to set some things up though. Doesn't excuse as much as somewhat explain some of the ways I have been a dick in the past.
- Getting a bit more plugged into some ethical fashion groups not only helps with my shopping, but also with a tiny corner of wanting to do something a bit better against consumerism. Though to be fair I never was quite that bad at it, it's still nice to discover. Let me know if you want any recs or suggestions, I'm happy to provide.
- Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance is a really great improvement on the base game. If you were wondering.
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Date: 2024-08-01 11:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-11 07:11 pm (UTC)