Now for the real post today.
Apr. 15th, 2008 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crankyoldmanManaged to calm down a major panic attack. God, I hate the end of the year, all that stress just... gah. It really screws with my head. I'm not a weak person, at least I hope I'm not. But I'm better now, hopefully, and getting things done.
But since I was thinking about it, I am going to meta about porn.
Just to get it out of the way, I hate porn.
In order to put a good definition to it, I consider porn to be any form of art that is about fucking. I use that word not to just be edgy or profane, but because it really expresses the type of, well, rutting I'm talking about. Just down and dirty type of stuff. This also includes people being put into a position where they are no longer a person, but an object. When a man or woman is basically serving the purpose of a dildo or blow-up doll, it's porn.
Erotica, on the other hand, tends to be about more. Sometimes not enough more so it slides into the realm of porn, but enough substance to really... do something more than titillate.
I've been thinking about this because I've been trying to figure out why some stories make me ill, while others don't. And surprisingly, it has nothing to do with any kinks or squicks, I've found, but more to do with the difference between erotica and porn. Like, for instance, my hugest biggest squick of all time is incest, even on just an emotional level (like people that are adopted, or people they would affectionately refer to as "daddy" or "sis" or something). I've never been able to get past it, and I don't think that necessarily makes me closed-minded, it's more a reflection on the types of things I value. Really close friends? Not bothered by. But as soon as you cross the line into family, I have issues.
But I've occasionally enjoyed stories that get into that of a more explicit nature. The thing that they had in common was an awareness about what was going on. That really, it wasn't about sex. It was about something else, something human. Even this one extremely short story that did that... I find it impressive when a person can make an interesting point in a few sentences, really. It's been rare and I generally avoid that kind of storytelling, but if confronted with it, will usually try to give it a chance.
Another thing that I find about porn as opposed to erotica... is it's juvenile. The person can be a SUPERB writer as far as description goes and still completely miss the mark if there's an obvious mechanicalness to it. When I get a sense of deja vu, well, that's usually a sign. And not because I spend my days reading porn--more because I have had sex. I get the gist of how it works (even with two guys, but that's more through discussion, so it's a different familiarity). I can usually spot when a person is idealizing sex and when someone is very bitter about it very easily. You cannot remain detached in something like that, writing-wise, unless you're an advertiser and then you have no soul anyway.
It also has nothing to do with description. While I am personally uncomfortable with squishy descriptions, I've always tried to keep an open mind about such things. So I'll be blushing furiously, while reading through lurid description in an attempt to see if there is substance. And it does happen! Clever writers can use the actions as metaphor, and keep the emotional aspects (or if they're making another point, completely remove it, which is also very interesting). When the characters display appropriate sexual awareness is also very interesting (like, I seriously doubt some jailbait is going to know what the hell they're doing. people MY age still don't always know what they're doing!). Hell, even asexuality is interesting, and I like seeing it done for more than just the Old Character That Is Not Pretty. Asexuality is on the spectrum too, and some people really do just want it for reproduction and it's really perfectly fine. And normal. And beautiful.
Point is, there's a difference between things that really embrace sexuality, and something that might as well be on Animal Planet and it lies with intent, most likely.
In art, it's even more pronounced. I've been collecting art of various types since I was about seven, and when I joined the internet I was excited to see that I could find drawings and pictures and save them on my harddrive. I love art. Everything from observatory pictures of the night sky set on long exposure to vintage erotica.
At first glance in art nowadays, people will always point out "omg everyone's so skinny and proportioned like strange!" and they'll be right. But you know the thing that bothers me the most? Dead eyes. Stiff expressions. One of the things I love about Bettie Page is her wicked little smile as opposed to the scared rabbit expression you'd see on say, Girls Gone Wild. Even when she's tied up in bondage gear her face glows and her eyes sparkle. It's no surprise a whole subculture and lots of women have tried to emulate her--Bettie Page is a wonderful example of someone owning her sexuality and having it caught on camera.
More and more I'm seeing art (and fanart) that really... objectifies. And it makes me uncomfortable. Sure, I like humor (hell, a lot of older erotica is great for that, it's HILARIOUS sometimes and they know it) but sometimes I am disturbed. As someone with an academic interest in S&M culture (what? it's really interesting and strangely empowering) the submissive may be called all sorts of things and humiliated, but they still have the power to say no. They're giving permission to have whatever done to them. In art a lot of times it feels less respectful than someone that likes to be tied up and called names--there's no trust, no permission there. I don't know if it makes sense, but that's just something I see.
The whole point of this ramble is I'm sick of porn. I would like a point, I would like a reason, I would like something explored more than just someone's body. If things like fandom are going to get any sort of respect in the real world, we need to do kinks and strangeness a favor and make it interesting. This could just be because I think I'm finally old enough to have a certain amount of control over myself and not just be guided by hormones and a misdirected sense of wanting to be wanted, and I keep seeing missed opportunities. I'd like to see more "first time" stories that don't read like something out of Penthouse. I'd like to see people less well-endowed (unless it's canon, like, say Tifa, but for the most part you have no idea how long any of the guys things are) and less full of prowess. Hell, I'd love to see more about people over the age of thirty, or overweight, or somehow imperfect (this is where I say that I have so much love for the Roslin/Adama fansite I found, because I love them because they are older and imperfect plus cute with each other).
Sure, it's fantasy, but wouldn't you like to stand out a little?
tl;dr version: I hate porn, but like erotica. Bettie Page is hot. Also I am cockphobic.
~Cendri
But since I was thinking about it, I am going to meta about porn.
Just to get it out of the way, I hate porn.
In order to put a good definition to it, I consider porn to be any form of art that is about fucking. I use that word not to just be edgy or profane, but because it really expresses the type of, well, rutting I'm talking about. Just down and dirty type of stuff. This also includes people being put into a position where they are no longer a person, but an object. When a man or woman is basically serving the purpose of a dildo or blow-up doll, it's porn.
Erotica, on the other hand, tends to be about more. Sometimes not enough more so it slides into the realm of porn, but enough substance to really... do something more than titillate.
I've been thinking about this because I've been trying to figure out why some stories make me ill, while others don't. And surprisingly, it has nothing to do with any kinks or squicks, I've found, but more to do with the difference between erotica and porn. Like, for instance, my hugest biggest squick of all time is incest, even on just an emotional level (like people that are adopted, or people they would affectionately refer to as "daddy" or "sis" or something). I've never been able to get past it, and I don't think that necessarily makes me closed-minded, it's more a reflection on the types of things I value. Really close friends? Not bothered by. But as soon as you cross the line into family, I have issues.
But I've occasionally enjoyed stories that get into that of a more explicit nature. The thing that they had in common was an awareness about what was going on. That really, it wasn't about sex. It was about something else, something human. Even this one extremely short story that did that... I find it impressive when a person can make an interesting point in a few sentences, really. It's been rare and I generally avoid that kind of storytelling, but if confronted with it, will usually try to give it a chance.
Another thing that I find about porn as opposed to erotica... is it's juvenile. The person can be a SUPERB writer as far as description goes and still completely miss the mark if there's an obvious mechanicalness to it. When I get a sense of deja vu, well, that's usually a sign. And not because I spend my days reading porn--more because I have had sex. I get the gist of how it works (even with two guys, but that's more through discussion, so it's a different familiarity). I can usually spot when a person is idealizing sex and when someone is very bitter about it very easily. You cannot remain detached in something like that, writing-wise, unless you're an advertiser and then you have no soul anyway.
It also has nothing to do with description. While I am personally uncomfortable with squishy descriptions, I've always tried to keep an open mind about such things. So I'll be blushing furiously, while reading through lurid description in an attempt to see if there is substance. And it does happen! Clever writers can use the actions as metaphor, and keep the emotional aspects (or if they're making another point, completely remove it, which is also very interesting). When the characters display appropriate sexual awareness is also very interesting (like, I seriously doubt some jailbait is going to know what the hell they're doing. people MY age still don't always know what they're doing!). Hell, even asexuality is interesting, and I like seeing it done for more than just the Old Character That Is Not Pretty. Asexuality is on the spectrum too, and some people really do just want it for reproduction and it's really perfectly fine. And normal. And beautiful.
Point is, there's a difference between things that really embrace sexuality, and something that might as well be on Animal Planet and it lies with intent, most likely.
In art, it's even more pronounced. I've been collecting art of various types since I was about seven, and when I joined the internet I was excited to see that I could find drawings and pictures and save them on my harddrive. I love art. Everything from observatory pictures of the night sky set on long exposure to vintage erotica.
At first glance in art nowadays, people will always point out "omg everyone's so skinny and proportioned like strange!" and they'll be right. But you know the thing that bothers me the most? Dead eyes. Stiff expressions. One of the things I love about Bettie Page is her wicked little smile as opposed to the scared rabbit expression you'd see on say, Girls Gone Wild. Even when she's tied up in bondage gear her face glows and her eyes sparkle. It's no surprise a whole subculture and lots of women have tried to emulate her--Bettie Page is a wonderful example of someone owning her sexuality and having it caught on camera.
More and more I'm seeing art (and fanart) that really... objectifies. And it makes me uncomfortable. Sure, I like humor (hell, a lot of older erotica is great for that, it's HILARIOUS sometimes and they know it) but sometimes I am disturbed. As someone with an academic interest in S&M culture (what? it's really interesting and strangely empowering) the submissive may be called all sorts of things and humiliated, but they still have the power to say no. They're giving permission to have whatever done to them. In art a lot of times it feels less respectful than someone that likes to be tied up and called names--there's no trust, no permission there. I don't know if it makes sense, but that's just something I see.
The whole point of this ramble is I'm sick of porn. I would like a point, I would like a reason, I would like something explored more than just someone's body. If things like fandom are going to get any sort of respect in the real world, we need to do kinks and strangeness a favor and make it interesting. This could just be because I think I'm finally old enough to have a certain amount of control over myself and not just be guided by hormones and a misdirected sense of wanting to be wanted, and I keep seeing missed opportunities. I'd like to see more "first time" stories that don't read like something out of Penthouse. I'd like to see people less well-endowed (unless it's canon, like, say Tifa, but for the most part you have no idea how long any of the guys things are) and less full of prowess. Hell, I'd love to see more about people over the age of thirty, or overweight, or somehow imperfect (this is where I say that I have so much love for the Roslin/Adama fansite I found, because I love them because they are older and imperfect plus cute with each other).
Sure, it's fantasy, but wouldn't you like to stand out a little?
tl;dr version: I hate porn, but like erotica. Bettie Page is hot. Also I am cockphobic.
~Cendri
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-15 08:19 pm (UTC)Because I LIKE my sexuality. I like what you say, erotica- things that mean embracing it and using it, that's a whole different thing for some reason. I like sexuality and I like the idea of owning it and being empowered by it, but I DISLIKE porn because it makes me feel like I'm just there for some dude to fuck as he's thinking about the girls he saw online. And as awful as that sounds, most of that stems from my past relationship and that's basically what he TOLD me he was doing and I feel like such a worthless object. And I guess I get mad because I don't want that to cloud my view on something and I don't want that to continue affecting my mindset, but it does. And I don't mind written porn for the most part, save that if it's just sex for sex I USUALLY won't read it. Not always. I have to be in the mood, and sometimes I am, but usually I want plot, I want development, that sort of thing.
WHY DO I TL;DR IN YOUR COMMENTS?!!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-15 08:24 pm (UTC)I pretty much had a sucky relationship with that too, and while I didn't feel objectified, I didn't feel ready for anything that I was doing. Which is bad.
You cannot separate the self from the things you view. No one is objective, it's impossible. You can be tolerant, forgiving, open-minded, but never fully objective. Opinion is always colored with experience and always should be.
But I also have a problem that because people abuse sexuality to sell something that suddenly ANYTHING NEKKED IS BAD. Because that's missing the issue and being silly. I think that a lot of people are over-exposed to sex, but I think that it's more through marketing, and less through actual sexuality which is complicated and imperfect.
So yeah, I tl;dr back.
~Cendri